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I’ve been writing this post in my head for months. Mulling over what I am going to say, eager to put it down on paper or rather just hoping that if I put it on paper again, I might actually hold myself accountable.
Last year, I shared a story very dear to my heart; it was my 100 pound weight loss journey. I told you all about the history and how I wanted things in my current life to change. Over four years, I’ve put back on 30 pounds. Also in that time I started this ol’ blog. Dessert blog equals “not diet friendly”. Last year I told you that 2015 would be my year of change; I was ready to get fit again.
Guess what? I failed. I wouldn’t call it a complete failure because this year I weigh the exact same. I had ups and down, if fact, I actually lost 7 pounds. Aaaaaand then put it back on. I was completely dedicated at the start of last year, and did great for about the 1st 6 to 8 weeks and then I hit a plateau. I maintained that weight over the next few months despite my heavy traveling.
Right after I accepted my cookbook offer, I went to Vietnam. It was over after that. First I put on 3 pounds and held that for awhile. I’ve been running on fumes since July. I continued to travel and bake about five times more than normal. Eventually I found myself back up to my starting weight for the year.
I am a habitual “I will start after this or that” person and it never happened. Eventually I had to accept that 2015 wasn’t going to be the year for me to lose the weight. I was spread way too thin. I tried by best to pay attention to what I was eating, but that is easier said than done.
Now that my book is nearly finished, I am ready to try again. I am on day 3 of tracking my Weight Watcher points, and despite having a hard time trying to figure out their system, I am tracking EVERY damn bite. Yesterday I logged a Triscuit. A freaking single Triscuit. It’s one point by the way. I counted out seven almonds for my snack today. Seven. It’s also one point.
I am struggling for real. I am mentally exhausted; I have no motivation to do much of anything. I am craving foods that I can’t eat and I am hungry all day. I keep telling myself that the first few days are the hardest.
Now I need to motivate myself to get moving. Here I am making excuses; I was sick the past few days and I am finally feeling a little better. Again, telling myself I just need to get moving. Today I got up from my desk and took a quick 30 minute walk during lunch. It’s a start. Now I just need to keep going.
I hope my brutal honesty will let you know that I am struggling right there with you. I know there are more of you out here like me. I just want you to know we’re in this together. We will get there. It’s just going to take time. Don’t be afraid to email me, tell me what you’re going through and we’ll get through it together. Weight loss is a mental game. A wretched mental game.
And as promised earlier this week, I will be back with new recipes on Monday. Until then, you can visit my Skinny Desserts and Healthy Eating Pinterest boards. I’ve also got a handful of skinny desserts you can find in my Skinny Sides of Sweets.
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