Hashtag Real Talk vol 1

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I’ve been writing this post in my head for months. Mulling over what I am going to say, eager to put it down on paper or rather just hoping that if I put it on paper again, I might actually hold myself accountable.

Last year, I shared a story very dear to my heart; it was my 100 pound weight loss journey. I told you all about the history and how I wanted things in my current life to change. Over four years, I’ve put back on 30 pounds. Also in that time I started this ol’ blog. Dessert blog equals “not diet friendly”. Last year I told you that 2015 would be my year of change; I was ready to get fit again.

Guess what? I failed. I wouldn’t call it a complete failure because this year I weigh the exact same. I had ups and down, if fact, I actually lost 7 pounds. Aaaaaand then put it back on. I was completely dedicated at the start of last year, and did great for about the 1st 6 to 8 weeks and then I hit a plateau. I maintained that weight over the next few months despite my heavy traveling.

Right after I accepted my cookbook offer, I went to Vietnam. It was over after that. First I put on 3 pounds and held that for awhile. I’ve been running on fumes since July. I continued to travel and bake about five times more than normal. Eventually I found myself back up to my starting weight for the year.

I am a habitual “I will start after this or that” person and it never happened. Eventually I had to accept that 2015 wasn’t going to be the year for me to lose the weight. I was spread way too thin. I tried by best to pay attention to what I was eating, but that is easier said than done.

Now that my book is nearly finished, I am ready to try again. I am on day 3 of tracking my Weight Watcher points, and despite having a hard time trying to figure out their system, I am tracking EVERY damn bite. Yesterday I logged a Triscuit. A freaking single Triscuit. It’s one point by the way. I counted out seven almonds for my snack today. Seven. It’s also one point.

I am struggling for real. I am mentally exhausted; I have no motivation to do much of anything. I am craving foods that I can’t eat and I am hungry all day. I keep telling myself that the first few days are the hardest.

Now I need to motivate myself to get moving. Here I am making excuses; I was sick the past few days and I am finally feeling a little better. Again, telling myself I just need to get moving. Today I got up from my desk and took a quick 30 minute walk during lunch. It’s a start. Now I just need to keep going.

I hope my brutal honesty will let you know that I am struggling right there with you. I know there are more of you out here like me. I just want you to know we’re in this together. We will get there. It’s just going to take time. Don’t be afraid to email me, tell me what you’re going through and we’ll get through it together. Weight loss is a mental game. A wretched mental game.

And as promised earlier this week, I will be back with new recipes on Monday. Until then, you can visit my Skinny Desserts and Healthy Eating Pinterest boards. I’ve also got a handful of skinny desserts you can find in my Skinny Sides of Sweets.

XO

Julianne

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25 Responses
  1. Big Red

    Hey, girls. We fight the good fight. I’m now working on getting weight off to keep from taking statins for high cholesterol. Eating the foods recommended and walking 10,000 steps a day. Yes, I bought a cheap thing similar to FitBit and keep track. Has been slow, but steady. Just hit a loss of 40lbs. Get a new blood check in Sept. All we can do is encourage each other. Keep at it ladies!

    Big Red

    1. Beyond Frosting

      That’s awesome!! Congrats to you! I am doing pretty good right now balancing my workouts and trying to eat better. I need to stick to tracking points to hold myself accountable!

  2. Karen

    Julianne, you may want to have a checkup from your doctor; this “weight” issue may be actually something more than overeating desserts! Your doctor should set up test to determine whether there’s an underlying health problem, such as hypo/hyper glycemic or hypo/hyperthyroid or any other types of diseases. Your recipes are an absolute delight & your photos are gorgeous! I look forward to following your blog!

  3. Karen @ The Food Charlatan

    You can do it Julianne! Thanks for sharing your story. We gotta stick together! One thing I’ve been doing lately (that my sister told me about) to avoid eating sweets when you are bored (or whenever) is to drink a big glass of water and wait 15 minutes. If you are still having cravings, eat an apple and wait 15 minutes. If you are still having cravings then start over. She told me, it’s better to eat 5 apples throughout the day than an entire jar of Nutella. haha! I ate 3 apples today.

  4. Jocelyn @Inside BruCrew Life

    Girl, don’t beat yourself up over it. You did it before and you can do it again. It’s definitely a mental battle that a lot of us women struggle with. Having a baking blog doesn’t help things either. I wanted to lose more than I did last year, but I didn’t. I have to mentally tell myself that getting up each morning and working out is something I have to do. I know I will feel better just doing it. But then I have days where my hubby wants chocolate chip cookies and what do I do? Eat batter and two warm cookies…ok, fine three. Don’t give up!!! I’m here if you need to chat!!!

  5. Vicki

    I think you can do it!!! I think it will take a little time to get back into the habit, but when you do…you will be on your way again!! I will be cheering you on every step of the way.

  6. Joanne

    Julianne, do not be so tough on yourself! I was the same way last year, needing to lose 20 lb.’s and watching my carbs. Well, I still have the extra 20 lb.’s, but have made it a point to exercise more. I bought myself an elliptical and I am using it. My metabolism is not what it used to be!

    1. Beyond Frosting

      Hi Joanne! That is so great that you are using your elliptical! Keep up the good work. I too am adjusting to a totally different body type. It’s can be frustrating at times, but I am trying not to lose sight of my end goal.

  7. Amanda

    Julianne, please stop beating yourself up. You do not deserve that. You would never order anyone else to drop weight just to please what society dictates as “normal” or “beautiful.” Look at all the good you do for the world; look at how creative you are; look at how hard you work; look at how you make the rest of us smile with warmth inside when we read your blog…Don’t live be the rules of Weight Watchers. It is all a gimmick. They get you to lose weight, you eventually put it back on because NO ONE (not even OPRAH) can stick to such a regiment for the rest of her life, and then you are right back where you started–begging for more of Weight Watchers help. It is a never ending cycle of money-making for them. ACCEPT yourself! You are beautiful the way you are. You’re body will balance itself on it’s own; walk when you can, spend time with your family doing the activities you enjoy, and keep healthy eating in mind, but never deprive yourself.
    I know what it is like to suffer from an eating disorder for over 20 years now. It is not fun; it is isolating, deadly, it ruins your life socially, economically, physically, mentally, and spiritually. Be grateful your body works and has carried you thus far.

    1. Beyond Frosting

      Hi Amanda, thank you so much for your comment. I have struggled with weight since the 5th grade. I tried diet and diet in high school and nothing worked. It wasn’t until I found Weight Watchers that I actually started losing weight, and eventually lost 100 pounds. I totally agree with you, it is very tough to make it a lifetime change, and we will all go through ups and downs. The truth it, I just don’t know how to do it every other way, and I am scared to try anything else. The most important thing is that I am doing this for myself. Besides being 10 pounds over the healthy weight for my height, I am very unhappy with myself. I once wrote that I am not sure I will ever erase the “fat self” from my head. I lose sight that I am still 70 POUNDS lighter than I was 8 years ago. But like I said, I need to do this for myself, to feel comfortable and confident again and stop hiding behind my heavy sweaters and leggings. I need to feel better about posting photos of myself again instead of looking at them with tears in my eyes because I can’t believe I let myself get this out of control. You’re 100% correct that I need to focus on my mental health and hopefully my physical health with follow.

  8. Mary

    Oh, don’t keep beating yourself up about this. We ALL go through this weight gain. Just saw a book by Dr. Ian Smith SHRED POWER CLEANSE diet. Check it out. He guarantees you never go hungry (4 meals and 2 snacks each day). THANK YOU for this beautiful website, your creativity, and ALL of the wonderful desserts you share with us. Let’s lose that weight together and motivate each other.

    1. Beyond Frosting

      Hi Mary! Thank you so much for your kind words! Over the past 4 years it has been creeping up on me. It is time to take the control back. Thank you for your support and I am over here cheering for you!

  9. Elizabeth

    I also dropped 30 pounds and put back on most of it. For me, it’s all or nothing. I can’t eat anything sweet because apparently I have no control. None. So I too will lose the 25 or so pounds I put back on, but hand in hand with an exercise program. I’m older than you, so longevity it a concern. I’m supporting you all the way.

    1. Beyond Frosting

      Hi Elizabeth, I totally understand. It is extremely hard to resist. This past weekend was the first time I had done some baking in about 2 weeks. It was MEGA hard not to take a few bites. I do have to know what the flavors and consistency are. I am cheering for you as well!

  10. Beth @ bethcakes

    Julianne! I am in exactly the same boat as you. Like literally exactly the same. Was gonna loose 30 lbs in 2015, lost 7, and gained it back. It’s hard with a baking blog, especially because I’m a picky eater outside of desserts. But I’m finally gonna make it happen in 2016! I’ll be right there with you!

    1. Beyond Frosting

      Hey friend. I am holding onto hope that I did it last year and I can do it again. It is so hard to get through the plateaus but this is a much needed health change for me. I am rooting for you!

  11. Donna

    Right there with you! I have also struggled all my life. Lost 50+ pounds for my daughter’s wedding and kept it off til last Christmas when I gained 7 pounds. I CANNOT get rid of those 7 pounds to save my life – even the low-carb hasn’t helped. So now I’m scared to weigh myself after this Christmas but have decided to give myself a couple of weeks of eating “normal” again and then I’ll step on the scales. The one positive I have made just this week is I carry around the water bottle that I got for Christmas and have dramatically decreased the amount of diet soda I drink a day. I still have some but not near as much – I figure that in itself is a small victory. Thank you for your honesty – most of us don’t want to let others know of our perceived failures when in reality if we would all be honest, we could help each other.

    1. Beyond Frosting

      Hi Donna! Wow! That is such an amazing story!! Congrats on your success. When I first started to put the weight back on, it was maybe 5 pounds, but it was SO hard to lose again. I just told myself that where I was at at that time was more manageable. When I went through my first weight loss, I was single and in my early twenties, so it was easier. Now several years later, my body is totally different and it is a hard adjustment. I am also SO proud of you for giving up diet soda, even a little at a time. I have tried over and over and done well for a few months and then started again. It is a total stress clutch for me. I even started drinking ice green tea which was helping, but now I have to count that as points. It is hard when diet soda is zero points. You feel like you are winning LOL. All the best to you! Let’s stay in touch.

      1. Donna

        Hi! Good to hear from you :). Well, the good news is that I’m still drinking water and definitely drink less diet soda – bad news is that I FINALLY had enough nerve to weigh myself after the holiday and gained another 4 pounds so I’m up a total of 11 pounds since my daughter’s wedding 2 1/2 years ago. NOT GOOD. Surprisingly, I wasn’t terribly depressed after getting on the scales this morning because I knew it was coming and was grateful that it wasn’t more. So I just told myself it’s time to jump back in slowly and surely and hope for the best. I am back to the somewhat low carb and now need to wean myself off of sugar again. . . Those Christmas M&M’s in the bowl need to be tossed!!! Anyway, I will definitely keep in touch as we embark on this journey together. It’s funny how it’s so much easier to talk about this to someone who is in the same boat and who I know won’t judge. . . Thanks!

  12. Berta

    Julianne, you’re going to hear from so many people in your shoes. I joined WW after babies and extra pounds in 1972. I happily lost the weight but the next 35 years or so let life intervene and pounds creep back. I finally got back to WW about 5 years ago and lost all that I had regained. These past five years find me regretting that I didn’t take control earlier and maintain that initial weight loss. My hope for you is that you can do it this time. Euphemisms aside, life is so much better when you don’t have to carry around all those pounds. I’m rooting for you!

    1. Beyond Frosting

      Hi Berta, thank you for much for your comment. What a wonderful story. To be honest, losing this again to a daunting task, but I know I did it once and I can do it again. It is a much needed lifestyle change. I lost all control of portions. Congrats to you and thank you for your support!

  13. Carol G

    Julianne, I have had a weight issue all my life and understand what you are going through. My motivation right now is my granddaughter and a new grandbaby this summer. I want to be around to see them graduate from high school and college. I try very hard to eat smarter these days. I have been using a salad plate for my dinners so not to put too much on the plate. I walk, weather permitting here in PA, everyday, at least 2 miles. I push myself to walk on those days I would rather just stay in. My walks are my meditation time and I am home before I realize it.

    1. Beyond Frosting

      Hi Carol, thank you for your kind words. How exciting that you are getting a new grandbaby! Walking is so good for your health, I am also trying to incorporate more walking into my day. The steps you are taking to reach your health goals are fantastic! Keep up the good work!

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